I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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