Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
