I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
