I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
