Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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