I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
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I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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