Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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