worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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