eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
