just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
