My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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