Cold hands, warm shart.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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