1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
