I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
