brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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