thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
