Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
