I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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