There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
