Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sober January is a disaster.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
