Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
