Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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