the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
