Already got asked if we're dating
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
