so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i came on her dog
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
