I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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