Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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