in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
