OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
