Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
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I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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