I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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