Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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