I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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