I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this boner is exhausting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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