it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
