I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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