There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
