Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
