Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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