hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
