I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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