I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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