I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
