i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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