New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
