You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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