you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
