she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
