so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize