I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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