I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
