Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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