so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
