I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
