if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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