yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
