Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
