you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
