Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
