is your mom at the bar?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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