I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
