it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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