So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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