your parents love me but you hate me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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