He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
